We get it, everyone wants more and more gear reviews! If you reference our Big Agnes Copper Spur UL2 Gear Review, you will see we get it, and we take it seriously here at ElevenSkys! Only the best reviews for the most important issues and gear available. That is why, this week, we have decided to review a piece of gear, few choose to review, few choose this path less followed. The unsung hero of "off-trail" attire, the sleek and oh so comfortable design, and the practical pockets, oh there are so many beautiful things about this piece of gear. When seen utilized out in the wild, the only thought that goes through your mind is "how do I find a pair?!" Product tested over multiple years, and multiple waistline sizes, it has stayed true and upheld its quality. Unquestionable, uncompromising, unfathomably stylish.... yes you already knew it before we stated it so plainly here. This contender is of course a pair of Khaki Pants!
Don't you worry Khaki Pants we recognize you, and we all love you!
There are so many gear reviews around tents, backpacks, quick-dry shirts, durable pants, and amazing shorts (shameless ElevenSkys plug) that we wanted to provide you with a review around the most important gear available off-trail, Khaki Pants. Do not worry we will continue to provide gear review around on-trail clothing, but this contender was screaming at us with the neglect and sheer painful lack of love that it has been shown by our community. It has remained true regardless of this fact however, and only asks for someone to show it even a tiny bit of love, expressed in a few words, no matter how many of us feel it in our hearts. So, we took our pair of Khaki Pants aside today, and soothingly reassured them, that we have you covered, while you continue to cover us!
The first category and one of the most important, Style. Of course it goes without saying, but the Khaki Pants deserve a tribute and a review, so we will state the obvious here. The style of Khaki Pants is unblemished, there is no equal. Do you feel like wearing a beautifully ugly Christmas sweater? Well, do not worry the khaki pants will only compliment Santa Claus as they are in the ring for the Heavyweight Championship against their natural predator and foe, a Great White shark. Do you feel like showing off the gun show in a fancy tank-top? Do not fret, the Khaki Pants will tuck in the excess fabric from your "guns" to really make the muscles bulge and shine and maybe even look a tiny bit bigger... even though of course that is not needed.... Going on a fancy date? Let your significant other know that you are classy and casual at the same time as you slip on those Size 14 Flip-Flops on a Size 10-11 foot, underneath the Khaki Pants. Only the best for them. As you can see Khaki Pants only compliment and bring about happiness to the wearer as well as the viewer. A undisputed champion of class and style, all within a single pair of pants. The rating system for this category is of course, 5 out of 5 stars, or Town Pizza. Just remember to do your Khaki Pants justice while off-trail as every pizza becomes "town pizza" and protect them from the blemish of pizza sauce on a unblemished and beautiful face that is your lap and in turn the proud face of your Khaki Pants!
5 Stars = Town Pizza (amazing, fantastic, filling, relaxing, DELICIOUS, this has been what you have been craving, and it hits all the cylinders!)
You didn't believe us about the Santa Vs. Shark Christmas Sweater did you?? PROOF!
The second category that we will be reviewing with this amazing piece of gear is the durability. You want a pant that will last with you as you grow off trail, mentally and well physically of course...those FULL CAKE nights do catch up eventually.... A piece of clothing that will accept the package that is you, again physically and mentally. No judgment from these pants, only love! How long will a pair of Khaki Pants last? Well, in our experience even with asking so much from them each year, we have Khaki Pants to this day that are 5+ years old. They might not have the shine and sharp edges that they once had, but nonetheless they have withheld the test of time and activity. We have worn our Khaki Pants around job sites in 100 degree weather and job sites in single digit weather. We have climbed upon 3rd story rafters as they bent with us and then wiped grease, caulking, sawdust, dirt, and all the by-products of hard work upon their backside. All that they asked from us in return was a wash every few days, it was the least we could do. They tend to speak up in the smell department when they are dissatisfied with their treatment, and rightfully so. Did they ever have a rip or a tear? Well, honestly yes but it was never their fault! We asked of them too much, and we will always carry around that burden of knowing it was our disrespect and ignorance that caused so much hurt, never again we say! So, durability, unfortunately we are going to have to give them a rating of 4 out of 5 Stars, or Ramen Bomb. This rating does not reflect our immense love for them at all, only our mistakes and errors of not treating them the way they deserved. We are sorry Khaki Pants, we are so sorry.
4 Stars = Ramen Bomb ( tasty, extremely high calories, more than enough energy in the tanks for tomorrow, but not delicious)
The third category we will be reviewing is their design. Design and style while going hand in hand, are two very different categories. Style is the aesthetic of the outward appearance that can be based upon the design, but the design encompasses the practicality and use. Have you ever had Khaki Pants with zip-off legs to make into Khaki Shorts?! (a whole different product review) Well we have, and let us tell you, there was not a more freeing sense in the world than knowing at any time our legs could feel the breeze upon them. The knees no longer constrained by the fabric, the thighs tasting the air as a newborn calf would, and the ankles, well that is just unfair when conducting a business transaction, the ankles give the user too much power, the raw gravitational pull of a free-ankle can be too much, only wield the power responsibly. We got lost in our own joke, but what we were trying to say, is yes in fact we have owned Khaki Pants that could become shorts. Not only that but the zipper for where you remove them, was hidden by an extra lip of fabric, to make the pants appear seamless. Genius in design! Then the pockets. Pick a pocket any pocket, any leg, any backside, you will not be disappointed! There is a pocket for your wallet, of course we mean that back-right pocket! Back-left pockets are meant for the "extra" you accumulate throughout the day. How did you find 4 nails, 2 screws, and a receipt from Popeye's in there? Well, look at your day and you will find out, the receipt for fried chicken will however always remain a constant. The front right pocket, only the best fit for your phone! The front left pocket, well we honestly do not know what goes in there? We will just call it the mystery pocket, but oh the wonders of having a mystery pocket for any occasion! Do not forget the middle-thigh pockets! Once again, confused as to what their actual purpose is, but never confused of the fact that we have the freedom to use them at any-time! All around the design of Khaki Pants whether that is zip-away Khakis or your traditional Khakis, you will only be dined in elegance, and awash in options when it comes to design. Of course, no questions asked, 5 out of 5 stars or Town Pizza for this review.
5 Stars = Town Pizza (amazing, fantastic, filling, relaxing, DELICIOUS, this has been what you have been craving, and it hits all the cylinders!)
IS THIS TWO PAIRS OF KHAKIS IN 1 PHOTO? YES, and You are Welcome! You may also ask is that a pair of zip of khakis? Well see below...
YES IT IS A PAIR OF ZIP OFFS! Also the look on the face may appear as one of embarrassment for owning a pair of said pants, but it is NOT! Instead remembrance of fond memories made together!
The last and final category that we will be reviewing is one that encompasses what this piece of gear means to us as well as so many, love. If we continued to review all the attributes and qualities of Khakis we would never end, so we had to cut this off at a certain point, and this last attribute is by far the most important. The love between you and a piece of your gear. Be warned, when purchasing this product in the off-season, your love will become infinite. There will be a bond formed between you and your pair of Khakis that is so deep that when going off to hike the next trail, you will physically feel the separation. I wish we could say that it becomes easier with the longer and further you go on the trail, but it simply does not. You learn how to cope better with this hole in your heart the size of a pair of Khakis, but that is all, you get better at coping, the inner absence and pain never leaves. There will be many a day on trail that you climb an especially grueling and tough mountain, and go to celebrate with your closest confidant and friend, only to look down and realize you are wearing regular pants, not your love, Khakis. Love is never a question with Khakis, the only question is when will you be reunited? Well it is off-season, rejoice in your pair of Khakis, as we award a 5 out of 5 star rating in this category or Town Pizza.
5 Stars = Town Pizza (amazing, fantastic, filling, relaxing, DELICIOUS, this has been what you have been craving, and it hits all the cylinders!)
Okay, well almost all the ratings for the categories we covered in here were 5 stars with an unfortunate 4 star rating due to user error. So, what is the overall rating and suggestion for this piece of gear? Well.... the love is so strong between everyone and their pair of Khakis that we can not help but give them a 6 out 5 star rating, or AYCE BUFFET! The first piece of gear we reviewed with this rating, and possibly the only one that will achieve this! How does that math add up you may ask yourselves? Multiple 5 star ratings and an unfortunate 4 star rating, how does that equal 6 stars? Well, the categories we covered are not the whole picture of Khaki Pants, not even half! They are such a strong product, that there was never any doubt in our minds they would receive 6 stars, and we know there was never any doubt in your minds either! Here it is the badge of honor for this no longer unsung hero, let us shout it from the rooftops!
Special Award Category*
6 Stars = AYCE BUFFET (so good it hurts, literally. Can there be too much goodness in one thing? If there can be we have found it!)
ONLY THE BEST RATING FOR THE BEST PRODUCT!
We know we can never replace the Khakis in your heart while out on trail. There is absolutely nothing in the world that could accomplish that besides Khakis on trail.... (don't tempt us!) Let us help you cope through this absence though. When you wear ElevenSkys Shorts and look down expecting Khakis, you will know for a fact that you are not alone. We are with you as fellow Khaki Lovers, and we know the loss you are experiencing. Let ElevenSkys represent all the passion and love you have for your Khaki pants at home, let them mean us much to you as they do to us. Rejoice! The hero's song has now been sung by us. Now it is your turn to sing your own tribute to your love for Khaki Pants with ElevenSkys Shorts!
Sincerely,
ElevenSkys
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